Program Khidmat Negara - NATIONAL SERVICE .... ME???

Hahaha based on my tittle above i'm sure it's already an anti-climax post . I will not drool or drag over this topic with flowery yet bombastic words because being at this hour of the day , I have no mood and no interest for this . Probably this is one of my most shocking day of my life- waking up at 12 03 pm by my cute little niece ; Emmerine , and just remembered about this HUGE "big-hoo-ha" issue my friends and I were drooling around last night on the msn messenger . News were spreading amongst ourselves like hot cakes as if there's nothing else the reporters and news editors to write on the dailies and internet . Well , at least to our degree of life for those born in the 1987 . Woke up instantly, grabbed my dad's hp and sms to the pathetic gov at 32232 ( i could remember the num so clearly now that i'm sick of it!) and wallah ... guess what the reply was ... I guess it was the best alarm clock i ever had after my last Alcatel old model hp and this complicating Sagem hp of mine i'm using currently .

The reply reads : TAN LEI CHING TELAH DIPILIH UNTUK MENYERTAI PKN . UNTUK MALKLUMAT LANJUT MENGENAI PENEMPATAN KEM SILA SMS KP NO IC DAN HANTAR KE 32232 . TERIMA KASIH .

That sms - instantly woke me up and i couldn't believe my 2 eyes; but at least i wasn't really shocked to see that because of the weird untuition or sixth sense i had since last year about all this stupid NS hype around the 1986's .... I guess i let out my utmost cry under Pylo (poor pylo) shouting and boy , i guess my pillow must've got a culture shock and a wake up call too for my high pitch and loud scream . Hahahaha .. but then , I'm glad though i didn't end up sulking in bed , allowing tears to flood my thoughts and bitter emotions to overshadow me . Ok that was a lie .. but the crying part was for once true , the day started bad - real bad .. but I wanna thank God for giving me the strength and i took my hp and sms to all my close friends to let them know for everyone's anxious about it .

The replies came ... The day couldn't get any better when people start to feel sorry for you . I dun get it , why is it when something bad happens to you , they feel sorry? My mind and emotions were irritated by those remarks honestly , (i'm sorry ya friends but i'm telling the truth) but no doubt , i know deep down inside they're concerned about me and sincere about how they feel . Yes i thank you guys , but I'm sorry zk for rejecting your self-invitation lunch even if we've not met for a long time .... today's the wrong day , but I'm not done with u yet . I'll meet you up another day ok? Promise .

Questions banged my head like the way the Americans bombed those Iraqi people over the Middle East . Why me ? That was the most obvious question because of my classmate who put that as her nickname for her msn last night when she found out she was selected as one of the candidates too . I cheered her up , but made her even more wanting to cry (I'm sorry Na Na.. but we're the same now!) but somehow i guess the holy spirit kept this little light of faith in me .. My sis tried her best at her utmost bitter family situation currently by saying "Maybe it's god's plan ... aiyah ur bro in -law's cousin sis , u know . Michelle? she went for it too last yr , she said it was fun and showed me all the pics some mroe .. so it'll be fine .. who knows ,you'll meet your future husband there! why? now gatal already ?" With a lame and evil laugh i replied "yeah rite , meet my German hubby there in a Msian NS camp??" She went on to say "OH PLEASE LA... what german! you'll meet your m'sian hubby there! face the fact la ! settle for a msian!" I gave her a grouchy and lame look and she went to work . Yeah thanks hem , i appreciate that .

The day went on , as i watched my favourite m'sian tv show - Akademi Fantasia (ooh stay tuned for my post on this FANTASTIC show!) past concert and totally forgot I was in my sad and depressing NS mood . That's what's so magical about the Electronic Idiotic Box i guess sometimes ... it brings u to another dimension of life that you'll tell urself "aww the show's over-now it's back to earth" when it's all over . I tried to shelve away the negative thoughts of the whole programme , but somehow it'll continue to ring negatively like how satan wants to counter attack you .

Going for NS ?? For 3 months ?? Without staying at home ? Without Pylo?? Without playing my baby?? (emm my organ la) Without teh o ais limau?? Without church ?? Without going online?? Without youth camps?? I couldn't help thinking about these ... what if I'm chosen into the 1st batch of candidate that starts on the 13th Dec but my organ exam is on either one of the day from 19th-24th Dec? What must i do ?? I need a break man! This is my worse concern actually , knowing the throne of music in my heart cannot be shaken by something else that's not worth my attention , not worth my time , not worth my effort , especially not worth my WILL like NS! Ok so what about the fitness thingey and all ? the program is like a camp rite ? with marching and all those ? what the S*** man ! (emm forgive me ppl , but i've stayed away from that word a long time ... can i use it just for once??pls?)

Life is like so challenging towards the end of this 2004 . Everything seemed like heaven when the year 2004 kicked off . Things in school was tiring ,stressing , but overall FUN! But now , with more and more bad news coming one after another , I have nothing else but only to shield myself from my "cry baby" side of me most of the times ... to train myself to try to be a strong girl .. sometimes i just want to proof to my family that I can be independant , i can be the only person in the family to study overseas alone . But i know it's not worth it , whatever it is .. I will take the bright side of this NS - like Janet said "it'll be fun .. maybe you'll meet your German bf there ; coz he's mixed chinese blood .. who knows??!" ahahhah thanks Janet ,for ur kind sms and sweet talk . But anyway , things done cannot be undone - the night kicked off well enough when i found out most of my chinese friends and classmates were also chosen into NS , which i dunno is good news or bad news because this seemed to be the best medicine for cheering me up . Haahhah is this selfish ? Yes maybe , this could be called unfair i guess . Knowing at least i'm not alone .

I thought about it last night , if i get into NS , at least i know i have Jesus . My shield , my refuge , my protector . My confidence . So who am i afraid of ? He would provide me the bright side of the rainbow . The activities prepared instored , i won't know yet and which campsite , i won't know yet too . But however I hope it'll be as fun as what people tell me and it'll really train me to be independant to make my wish come true to study overseas at least a year . To all 2005 NS candidates out there , let's be strong and hang on to the bright colours of the rainbow and go through the programe whether happy or not - LET'S ALLOW GOD TO LIVE OUR LIVES , NOT NS TO LIVE OUR LIVES!

P:S - emm Pn Wahida , is this qualified to score A1 for one of my essay ans for BM karangan SPM paper if PKN question comes out ? ahahhahah (kiddin)