Final Countdown ...

*It's the final countdown .... di di di di , di di di di di*

As I searched for what to post these days , this song just pops into my head . Yeap for those of you still attached to the past decade types of song , this is the Final Countdown song . You'd probably heard it during this year's Merdeka Concert KLCC when they released the awesome fireworks .

Obviously just like what i wanted to say , it's of course counting down to SPM la , what else . Lately i've not been really that satisfied with life , or should i say not really happy . I really can't figure out why exactly , but I think the few factors are there . And if i'd joined them up they'd be like pieces of puzzle scattered here and there . I made a vow not to write anything regarding SPM and studies here , except for a few posts regarding exams , but this is just part of what i wanna write anyway . Today marked the 2nd week after trials and just counting down to over a month to SPM . My point is , every morning when i wake up and look forward to school and friends , I look forward to the freedom of chatting and catching up crappy stories and laughters I missed throughout this year during the hectic exam weeks .

Today at 7:00 am i arrived in 4B as usual waiting for the prayer meet to start , but somehow this yucky feeling streamed down me . As i saw my friends were discussing an issue on physics and solving questions regarding anything concerning the exam subjects , i sensed a fear run through my body . What was it , i thought? Guess my expectations were wrong after all , or probably it was just because that's the fever of 5U girls spreading towards 5B girls . Somehow after trials i promised to work hard and practice my subjects more . Yes i'm doing it now , but I feel more relaxed honestly towards SPM . I don't want to study again and just want to continue practising and doing more exercise , but I will study for history and bio probably , depends .

Ok the point is , yes currently SPM is our prime focus and that's the key thing for us to move on after form 5 , but what the heck? I guess in school or in class , at least to my knowledge there's this person who shares the same thoughts with me about the opinion on exams , on SPM , and on studies . We both agree SPM doesn't neccesarry decides ur future . As a matter of fact , I'm the kind of person who just doesn't depend solely on one thing , coz i guess after all I wanna thank god for bringing so many things into my life .

If you're a regular visitor here , you'd found out I'm not a studious person , but god gifted me with so much blessings that my life is not all about studies , not all about SPM . Please , when i come home I enter my room and see my organ , I'm once again reminded music is actually i think the other majority part of my life knowing that God is constantly numero uno . I dunno when this feeling came about , but lately i felt as if something's missing in my life . I don't know what is it , and i know this is bad as Christians shouldn't feel like that . I once thought probably it's because of not seeing zk for such a long time , but then today probably that could still be a factor knowing friends are important to me .

Yes i've been studying , but I've also been playing . In fact , i've been watching more tv than i've ever before this past few months and hanging around the internet . My playing is of course practising my organ la , playing some of my fav songs . Ai i dunno what this entry is suppose to bring across , but whatever it is .. I guess my point is as i pray everyday God will use me to help me bless others , help me to use my each day as He wants me to , but instead I have been wasting them as hours and seconds tick by .....

Probably i'm just impatient to what's in store for me after SPM , with so many things in my mind ... that's why i'm feeling a little excited and burderned wit this . But anyway , whatever it is i just wanna say that i'll always miss this last 2 months in school and miss all the fun and laughters and sarcasm and chatting with all my cool 5B classmates . They taught me what unity was all about ,and what a playful yet productive class was all about . And by the way , because of spaggetti girl (quote from bex) and her theory of me marrying a skeleton dictator , studying radioactive and physics makes it an icing on the top . Ok I don't know why suddenly i moved to this , but through it all .. I guess what's missing and empty in me is the string between myself and Jesus that hanged loose for quite some time and i didn't realise it . I guess so ... but I hope He will correct me .