FRUSTRATEDD!!!!

I don't know when was the last time i had so much free time feeling so tired , moodless , afraid , lazy and at the same time frustrated ... not being able to do anything .. besides coming online .. The great news is , after trying out a few attempts on playing my pieces on the electone .. i can only now play

BACH's Chorale Prelude "Saviour of The World" .

Great.. the piece i dislike most ... among all ... i can't even play the JOC piece! Not even Sat'isfy with the least pedal footwork.

I tried playing today in school ... it hurts each time i press the black keys' pedal or everytime i miss a pedal .. It also hurts because my heart is afraid (or mind i should say) to press the pedal.. i have to be EXTRA careful not to hit the baby toe but use my mother toe to press on the pedals intead. Each time the song reaches a faster section with more footwork , i give up... it HURTS! DUMBO ... i get frustrated and decides to abandon my task .

Today the doctor changed my bandage but now he wrapped it much bigger than on Friday so i guess it hurts even more when i walk ... coz it's more bulky and makes it more difficult for me to press the pedals. .. tomorrow at work i'm going to avoid the pedals as much as i can. No performance on Lunch time Concert this Wed (besides my toe i didn't have the mood to try and memorize my song anyway) ... after what happened ... and yeah not mentioning how my daily routine is disrupted .. but anyway , i should be blessed .

0)Chin Siang accompanied me throughout the whole day to help me settle everything without complaining a single word
1)Poh Yee's picking me and fectching me to school everyday ...
2)Hem's fetching and picking me up from work in Kajang tomorrow
3)Hem got me her taxi driver to pick me up at 5pm tomorrow
4)Adeline has allowed me to leave her class half hour earlier tomorrow for the taxi driver's
convenience
5) Mom's been driving me to mamak past 2 days with Ger's car .. ahahha
6) Family members have been showing loads of concern
7) Friends have been praying and supporting me spiritually and morally
8) GOD has been FAITHFULLY speaking to me to comfort me!

Just a day before this happened , Thursday night when i decided to skip YYO and go home early to practice finish my teaching .. i went online to read my daily devotional on AOG website and here's what God had to say.

"FAITHFULNESS - how this person who never skipped church for the past 11 years and never skipped school for 12 years or so .. and how we should be faithful in our walk with GOD"

I never thought that was pretty relevent for me on that night .. so never touched me particularly.

On Friday night after everything was over ... i told Poh Yee how this article suddenly made sense to me .. God warned me about being faithful to Him no matter what happened .. and asked me to HANG ON. So i started watching all the Hillsong and PlanetShakers videos on Youtube and Mighty to Save as well as Hosanna touched me so much .. i could actually find joy in singing Mighty To Save ... it never touched me in that way before.

By midnight , i went to bed .. but had some traumatic effects ... couldn't sleep due to my body aches and thoughts about the whole incident in the afternoon ... Even had thoughts of giving up on teaching the next day but i knew that was what the devil wanted me to do ... so i told God i shall not listen to the devil but still go and teach. I did! What a relieve..

Subsequently God has been speaking to me through the daily devotionals i read online and they all talk about going through tough times and how life is tough but we as CHristians should rise up and walk through it with God. Then also for friedns like Janet who coincidently called me last night and encouraged me as well ...then sent me a good verse from Isaiah ... this morning..

Although so .. I'm frustrated i am not able to play my electone .. and might even need to cancel my individual class this Wed ... i don't know. Tomorrow will see how.... Prayers folks. please .. thanks.

Oh gosh i think i forgotten to mention what happened ... i had a 4 car pile crash on Friday afternoon. LDP highway just nearby my school ... I was sandwiched in between 4 cars .. so yeah you would expect the worse from a fragile car like mine (KANCIL) .. banged by a four wheel drive and one more Avanza behind it. BUt i'm stilll BLESSED!

"He is for me , NO ONE can stand against me."