What RuBbiSH!!!

What the crap man .... today i just came home from Hem's house after had a great great enjoyable Karaoke session with her and Ger in Sunway Redbox yesterday .. ahahha check out the way they sing out of tunes and Hem knowing how to sing Malay songs from Siti Norhaliza and Ruffedge!! Even i myself don't know how to sing those songs!! Hahahahha ... well , had a good day , went christmas shopping with them in sunway pyramid and chose my new "school" bag for the new phase of life . But i'll only get it for christmas . hehehe ...

Okie then came home today .... until dad made a big hoo haa about my future course at ICOM ... i'm thoroughly frustrated with that issue and to me , that's considered HISTORY! Why he just kept worrying bout the financial part of it , and kept insisting an alternative route that 10% of people of my age today would choose ?? Going form 6?? Please la ... (no offence to form sixes!!) Look , what is the date now ?? 8th of December 2004 and after SPM , after so much of hectic research i've gone through only he wants to fret and worry about the course fees!??!!

So the other time when i was busy crying and disappointed over going to Berklee and also sitting down talking to him about my plans was a total waste of time is it ?? It all went into the drain !? Sometimes i just don't know what's fit into this old man's head .... look , i'm totally irritated by the fact he kept thinking that going to Form 6 and come out to enter local universities is the "best" and nothing but the "best" way of saving money and good education !!! My sister said something very true which is

"i just had enough of them! They just don't seem to understand the world ... and if he kept thinking going to Form 6 would solve every damn problem then why bother to have kids!??"

That statement is super true man ... the problem with them is they NEVER and i mean NEVER know how to plan for the future .... It's not that i want to look down upon my parents , or whatsoever .. i'm not being narcissistic or what .. but if it already happened to my 3 other sisters , and with lapse of so many years later ... it still happens to me !! THE SAME PROBLEM! what the crap man ... i thought bringing him to ICOM's Open Day would help a bunch .. but it turned out that now only he wants to get serious .. i'm so so disappointed ...

I just had a talk with him a while ago .. and we were just thinking how to plan things out .. i tried my very best to calm myself down and not to scream my lungs out in any bad bad situation or whatsoever .... so yes ... we talked ... and conclusion is , i couldn't take it anymore and said this

"Look , i want to study something i'm passionate about and do what i like . If i study some stupid so called professional course then in the future after my education when i come out to work i don't do what i study you'll start blaming me for wasting your precious money! Have you ever thought what i like ? I've already gave up my dreams to go Berklee in a very harsh way months ago and now you want me to give up going to ICOM ?"

I simply made a lame joke telling my family members who are concerned over what my dad said and it ringed like this "ya man ... talking about crossing the Lautan Atlantik to Berklee .. i can't even cross over the Sungai Gombak to go Setapak to ICOM!!"
sigh .. i just can't stand it ... why do parents have to make kids' lives so miserable .... and now as a conclusion to my conversation , my dad wants me to come out to work ... while i'm studying .. with my Grade 5 Electone qualification , he expects me to teach and cover my own expenses.. what a crap man .. i thought at first if i the choice , i'd enjoy my studies in college and come out to work later.... and look , looks like i gotta work as hard as Mr Phua alread ... (mind u , he works 7 days a week without off-days) And talking bout extra music classes for myself when i'm in college , i don't even think it's included in my dad's expenses ... (i'm planning to continue my electone which costs 200++? , jazz piano and drums in college which costs rm 1500 each!)

Life is like that .... i guess.... after going through this , suddenly i feel money is NOT everything , but it is indeed very important .... In fact now i'm already feeling the knife poking me in the heart coz of the financial crisis i'm facing due to buying the Swatch Irony which costs me RM290 for that for Mr Phua !!! Yup , next time i'll work hard ... and at the same time , glorify God in whatever i do ... Yamaha Electone performer seems kinda far but NOT impossible .. (thanks for the encouragement emerson!!) But being a Jingle Writer , here i come !!!! It's just so hard to be able to finally discover what a person really wants to do in life , and after getting the passion for it , i won't want to give up so easily . So i don't care , i'm just gonna DO IT !