Aimless

I've been very very free indeed for the past few days to be able to do tonnes of things ... accomplish them at lightning speed .. (influence from Lightning Mcqueen's name due to the great number of times i've watched Cars just because my niece loves it!) ...

I've been able to hang out with Grace on mon play some good bowling , went some window shopping , and spend some precious time together at home .... spent precious time with sister and niece on Tues , including battling with my beginnings of my what is to come fever and viral infection . Wed was a bedridden day when i did NOTHING besides driving home from sis house and seeing doctor ... otherwise was just laying like a dead person under my covers on bed the whole day sleeping as much as i could . Gastric and fever was the main cause ... for weird reasons i could not understand where the sickness came from , but all i knew was i've had more sicknesses i need in a month during this holidays! arrghh ...

So yeah wed was washed off... thursday morning woke up to a brand new day feeling fresh and anew! Healing was immediate by God ... and so took niece out to 1u ... came home early and practiced my MGS arrangement .. perfecting it while hanging out at home .... feeling complacent and lazy . Today ... was extremely lazy too ... completely switched myself into the "let loose" mode and totally never stepped out of the house besides bringing my car to the car wash and petrol station .... Twice today i dressed up afther shower wanting to go out but only to pull out last minute .... sigh ... was hoping to get a good boost from Samantha's church concert but because Teck couldn't identify the person who drove his car off we didn't go . Disappointing .

I really am gonna pray hard that teck can make it this sunday to go church with me.... knowing W.Tieng can't make it ... Lord pls let it be a YES! So yeah ... there goes my whole complete holiday week ... doing nothing fruitful ... Time pass imminently fast when you don't tend to grab it for something productive . I noticed ...

So anyway ... besides the fact that i learnt a very interesting lesson from becky's amazing testimony about her A-levels results she told me yesterday night , nothing big happened this week.... it gave me a real confirmation about how much i should trust in God and never to lean on my own understanding for so much things . And to really ask hard if i want that badly ... though it might not always be a YEs but i should constantly put in more effort in Him than anything else . Bex , somehow when you told me your story i could really relate a lot to myself .... in any sense ... studies , work ... spiritual side... GOd used you huh .. to bless me . Thanks . =)

I realised suddenly that i've been growing up in a very positive environment since young .... i mean , ever since i came to know The Lord Jesus ... nothing has been badly negative that will tear me apart or whatsoever . In my life ... No broken family , drug-abused friends , miserable job , or even a "over my dead body" kind of college life (though i used to experience it once!). So whenever i hear someone around me (especially dear to me) complains or encounters a problem or even faces a barrier at that moment ... like challenges in life for example ... that'll straight away draw them away from God ... i will be very disappointed and angry at the same time . Angry at why do they give up on God so easily , why do they look at the pictures in life so small , why do they not give themselves or God another chance , why do they not get out of their comfort zone and work for things , or why do they not involve God in their problems but shut Him off once problems come!?

I hate it ... Couple of weeks ago Ah Ger was announcing to the whole world about her misery at work .. .at how her job tortures her to do things she didn't know ... and giving her last minute work to be completed and how God did not bless her in her job . Things are getting better for her now thankfully , after the support group we had last Saturday in sis house ... She's learning to trust in God again and letting Him in her life ... so it's not that bad . But yesterday night i receive the same kind of complains from my very best buddy ... ZK ...

He already got a job without me knowing and is complaining about how stressful he is at work ... and how much he doesn't want to listen to me preaching about the greatness of God and how he should be thankful about it . I might not know how sucky is this job but just the other day before he got a job he was complaining and asking me to pray for his job applications and now when he has one he is complaining about it . How fast can the wind change! I was extremely frustrated at how he shut me off when i talk about God ... I'm just angry at how ppl shut God off when troubles come . Shouldn't it be the other way round!?

So i guess when i hear something negative like this i get frustrated easily ... maybe not because of the positive environment but more so the Godly environment i've been brought up in ... thanks to V2 ... Ps Ronnie , you've helped me a whole bunch! God has used your ministry to bless me! And made me who i am today .... thanks !! I don't know ... maybe i've not encountered any serious or big decisions in life that will make me go sliding off my fine Christian line .. or i have but approached it in a different way ... i don't know ... all i know is that i'll never give up on Jesus . He's the best thing in my life and i won't trade anything for being a Christian .

Oh it's 1 15 am ... no wonder my eyes could hardly open . End of frustration . Goodnight .