Emotions...

Today was just a lagging and laid-back day ... where i slept till 10 45am in Eden's house after a very tiring day yesterday ... from sending Joanne , Joyce and Wui Ying in KLIA to Birmingham ... can only say that yesterday was a very long day ...

I will write about the trip on another post ... But i just want to say that i guess i'm allowing my emotions to take over my brain and mind . Which is SO NOT GOOD ... Yesterday night Eden and i spent the night analysing and talking about different people in the Academy and we came to a conclusion that everyone is not perfect and her life in England this time next year without me will be very very different .. especially for her , and for myself .

Ok , the point is .. when i am too free sitting down here not knowing what to do i get very all-emo and all-thinking ... hahahah means i start to think a lot and analyse my own situations and feelings . Which is what i am very good at now that we've learnt how to analyse Classical music .. ooh EEEUUUU!!

So yeah , tomorrow is suppose to be a day i look forward to since last week because i finally get to get my electone impro kicked off and enjoy my classes with C.H ... but i was turned down by a very disappointing phone call when he totally forgot about my class tomorrow and said

"Oh i'm sorry .. tomorrow i cannot teach you , i forgot .. tomorrow i need to do (blah blah)... "

I went ,

"ARRRGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Yeah i literally grumbled loudly over the phone when he said that ... Anyway , the whole point of this post is to say that i am learning how to cope with things when it doesn't always go your way . Then i just continue to sit in the mamak with mum with her "stoned" face due to exhaustion over her kindy job .. at the same time i'm super tired as well .. so yeah , i'm torturing myself again ... for not sleeping and going on and on doing stupid things online .

Then i realized there's no point sitting in the mamak not talking , so i called for the bill and drove home . With emotions all over pouring me , i came online to find my Grace here .. thank God she was willing to share my burdens and so happen she had a situation too back there in Johor .. so we end up sharing our own problems and enlightening each other . Isn't God great ? He gave you friends to share these moments together ..

Well , not only that ... its like when i'm talking to Grace through msn i suddenly recalled what pastor preached in church yesterday ... he said that when the going gets tough , or when things do not happen in your way .. you should continue to praise God and sing that melody you've put in your heart ... thinking of that makes me feel much better because i'm a person who can't cope with failures and disappointments and HATE CHANGES in life .... Do you know the story of me crying every single time i enrol into a new school from kindy to primary to secondary to college (well only in Sedaya la..Academy was all well and happy!) ??? I needed time to adapt to a new environment and i hate last minute changes ..

After talking to Grace , i saw my di-di (younger brother in mandarin) and wished him all the best for his final exam paper tomorrow ... then i saw his nickname that said

"Things aren't always what they seem"

Which is just so true and what i am thinking .. ahahhaha how else can God be fake ? So yea , another word of comfort ... just that i am still learning and paving this very high cave to be who God wants me to be ... I know it needs patience and loads of humility .. but i am still learning ..


Knowing that tomorrow's afternoon plan is cancelled which means i can sleep a little later and not having to worry about rushing here and there ... and taking my own sweet time to go sis' house before going to Kajang ... i don't even want to call Hem to tell her about my cancellation of plans because she'd plan something for us ..

I realize during this sem's break i only want to do nothing but have loads of quiet time with myself at home ... or with God ? I don't know ... am tearing now typing this because i'm listening to this touching slow worship song called

"It Is Well" by Passion Live band (How Great is Our God albuM)

WHY? Don't know .. will quit questioning but just taking a day at a time ... I miss God .. honestly i miss Jesus ...